Unprepared and Willing

A lot of times we are afraid to commit because we are afraid we will fail. The truth is, it’s only in making the commitment that we receive the energy to overcome. In fact, the best commitments we can make are in areas where we are the weakest. We’re often afraid to go for the things we long for because we think we’re unprepared. We don’t want to charge into action unless we personally feel “ready.” But a lot of times, if we wait until we feel ready, we are missing opportunities.

It’s when we are willing to do things, even though we don’t feel prepared or that we are the best person for the job, that we are revealing the most amount of Light possible into our lives and into the world.

Today, know that when you don’t understand how you are going to overcome – but press on with your commitment anyway – is when the impossible becomes possible. -Kabbalah Daily Tune Up

just breathe

It was 2006, I was sitting right outside the breakers in the Pacific, gazing in the distance towards the sandy beach full of sun soaking on-lookers. They weren’t watching me of course, they were there watching the semi-pro surfers that graced the San Diego beaches as part of their religion every morning, noon and evening. I admired their dedication to the sport. As a serial spectator, I finally decided this day would be the day I was going to brave the ocean alone, board in tow (this was after a grueling 20 minutes of trying to fit myself into an itty bitty piece of rubber they call a wet suit) I had a deep desire to understand what all the hype of surfing was about. Sure, it looked cool, but to do it every day and live by it seemed intense and yet, intriguing. Plus I was working my way into becoming a bonifide San Diegian and surfing was step 2 on my list (step 1 obviously being the actual move to San Diego).

As busy as the beach was and as busy as the lineup of surfers were that day, I took a few moments out there, rocking on my surfboard in a place that was completely unfamiliar to me, and I closed my eyes. All was silent, calm, the only thing I could hear was the air moving in and out of my lungs. I paid attention to the control I had over making my shallow breaths deeper. I was fully aware in that moment. I opened my eyes and I knew at that time what it felt like to just ‘be’. No thoughts, no worrying, just breathing.

Life is always bigger, better, faster. I know because I hear it, I see it and I feel it myself. I have noticed in my 30 years that the truly, genuinely, happy people are those that breathe… Those that become aware of their surroundings, live in the moment and apply priorities on the intangibles. They seek out the meaning of life, the power of now; stuff aside from being rich, skinny or famous. The moments that matter most to my heart are always met with three similar surroundings, my family, my friends and togetherness. Music comes in at a close fourth, if not a tie for third. I want to always make sure I practice being fully aware, shaking free of any expectations. I want to continue to sink my teeth into the endless dessert that life is serving up every moment of the day, week and years to come.

I want to breathe deep and live richly, with my mind full of blissful memories and my heart full of acceptance, forgiveness, love and a complete sense of happiness and being.

Thank you Jamie, for showing me all of this, without showing me anything at all.

Thank you for bringing the ocean into our home.

I cannot wait to marry you and to share this wild ride of life with our families, our future children and our old wrinkly selves.

we are going to be millionaires

After much anticipation I finally got to work on my “Less is More” life project over this past weekend (baby steps). I went through 3 of my 4 closets and have managed to start a small bag of clothes that I will hand down to my little sisters to look through, and then Ill let them do the donating of whatever items they deem not suitable (pun master flex) for them to wear in front of their friends... I threw away 4 pairs of shoes (because let’s be honest, who wants used shoes?) and I started to finally get rid of all my half used bottles of shampoo (if any of you are FB friends of mine you may recall the issue I had last year with my semi-hoarding of half used bottles of everything). I did finally figure out how I actually end up with this ridiculous collection though (which was a major breakthrough for me), I figured out that I hate half empty bottles laying around, so I stock them away and bring out the full bottles for viewing and using… Apparently doing this for a year at a time will give you a pretty hefty hoard-like collection of half used bottles. Its weird, I know… I’m working on it (possible 2013 New Year’s resolution: Stop hoarding half empty bottles of everything)

Next on the list is getting rid of our cable! I am actually quite excited about this one… We pay $130 bucks a month for cable and other than my nasty addiction to terrible reality TV, I only use cable for sports and now that the Steelers blew it Football season is over I am completely ok with ridding myself of the cable box (that damn thing only works half the time anyway). With this kick we will save $1560 bucks this year!! Pretty freaking cool if you ask me =)

I am also all about some repurposing and refurbishing! I found this adorable desk online (super cute huh?), but this beauty would break my wallet of a whopping $1,095 buck-a-roos (Its cool to say “buck-a-roos” right?). So instead, I took a different approach. I bought this 1940’s cutie on Craigslist for $17 bucks:






















Along with this chair for $5 bucks at the local flea market:




























I then turned it into my own little adorable desk:




























{process of this refurb soon to be released}












Altogether I made this "knock off" for about $23 buck-a-roos (there I go again, I need to stop that, it sounds ridiculous)!
Sure it’s not set up in a cute pink room and may not look exactly the original one (which was a tad too whitish for me anyways), but what do you expect when you just saved yourself $1072 bucks! Jeesh…

So basically what I am saying here is that I have already saved Jamie & I $2,632 bucks this year(that’s how it works, right?) and it’s only the second week of January! At this rate we should have exactly one million dollars saved up by 2013. That’s my projection and although I am no mathmetician, I am pretty sure that’s a number is 100% accurate.

WOOHOO!!

How are your New Year’s Resolutions coming along?

Its ok if you don’t answer me, it’s really hard to top mine. Unless you are curing cancer or fighting world hunger, in that case, you win.

how NOT to be a bride

Less is More

It’s time for…

This Year in Goals 2012 Edition. Since my 2011 Year in Goals went to shit (who knew it would be so difficult to learn to throw ninja stars?). I decided to take a different approach for 2012 (especially since according to the Mayans, there will be a Zombie Apocalypse this will be our last year on earth) Gotta make it count, right!

Aside from the usual “lose weight” and “eat healthier” standard New Years goals, this year is going to be a little different for me; I only have one goal…

*no drumroll needed, but thank you anyways*

My 2012 Goal is to invest in experiences not “things”.
I was standing in our second bedroom my walk in closet the other day and I noticed that I have an insane amount of gorgeous things that I totally need crap, like a whole bunch of crap! I almost started to feel suffocated by it all. I had this sudden urge to get rid of everything I own and start over with just the basics (but that would be a little insane of me, right?). I quickly became ashamed of all of the useless things that I have in my possession. Anyone who knows me knows I have a love for shoes and clothes and bags and jeans and shoes and now, the newest addition, gorgeous watches (none of which even tell the correct time or date). I know many women share this same fondness of “things”, I don’t doubt that I am any different in that department than most of my friends, but it has gotten out of control. I realized I am addicted to the feeling of spending money and having a nice collection of things to look at, wear, touch and feel… It isn’t healthy to feel suffocated by your own stuff, but I do and I have a strong desire to purge, starting immediately. I mean, who needs 35 handbags (other than Carrie Bradshaw)?

So this is going to be the year of experiences. Don’t get me wrong, I will always have a love for nice things and I may even slip and splurge here and there on a nice pair of True Religions, but I will purchase more wisely this year. I am adding one more question to the list of questions you are supposed to ask yourself before every purchase:

A) Do I need this?
{or}
B) Do I want this?
{now adding}
C) Will this give me an experience?

If I answer yes to questions A or C, then I will evaluate the purchase more carefully and choose the purchase wisely. If I only answer yes to question B, without said item adding any value to my life, I will bypass the purchase and add whatever money I do not spend on the wanted item into my “Travel Fund”. My Travel Fund is going to be a big part of my 2012 year, that and my Wedding together will be 2 very sacred pieces of my existence starting in the New Year.

I actually have wanted to be a minimalist much of this last decade, I just chose not to talk about it much or to move forward with purging because, well, it’s so damn hard to get rid of all of my beautiful things useless shit! The older I get, the more I realize, that they are just that… things. stuff of no real value to my life as a whole.

think “Big Picture”

I want to start investing in life experiences. Shoes come and go… soles break and jeans rip, memories last a lifetime.

priorities, right?

This year I want to start ridding myself of things that do not matter as much to me as they once did or more so, ridding myself of things that do not matter to me at all. I want to start focusing on things that matter most to me in the grand scheme of life… I want to start selling stuff that is of no use to me anymore and donating things that are of no real value but can’t be thrown away. It’s a life change and I am finally ready to take the plunge.

This doesn’t mean that overnight I am going to be a bonafide minimalist, but I will take the baby steps necessary to making it happen (all in due time). I want my future with my husband and children to be filled with meaning (not that I was living a meaningless life prior, dont get me wrong, I love my life and I love my current and past experiences, just now I am going to adjust accordingly, focusing more on experiences rather than materialistic things). I want to experience life with travels, food, cultures, good movies and weekend trips. Not shoes, clothes and watches, however beautiful, that dont even tell the correct time (possible user error not important). I will still love those things, but I will choose them more wisely (all in moderation, right?)

Life happens when you are waiting for life to happen and I have decided to change what is most important to me, starting now.

Less is More

Cheers to the New Year!

May we all prosper in wealth, love and success… Whatever meaning those three things have to you!

the year of yes

don’t “we don’t do”, do “we do”

I’ve never quite understood people who put limitations on themselves when it comes to any type of “adventure” in life. It can be as little as trying smelly ass yummy curry for the first time and as big as moving abroad for a year, marrying a local, tattooing a bird on your face and changing your name to Eagle Eye (we are not here to judge)… I understand that not everyone is going to be able to try everything, but why not leave the option open? I am asking you this for purely selfish reasons because, frankly, Jamie and I are getting tired of having to go through our list of “we don’t” friends until we get to a pair of “we do” friends that are down to hang out with us.

I have noticed, over time, as an individual that there are a lot of things people do not like, want to try or have a desire to experience ... This is completely understandable, we can't all like everything or want to try everything (me included). But over the years I have taken note that entire couples have jumped on this "don't do" bandwagon... It's fine if it's a moral thing, dont get this post wrong, we aren't talking about breaking the law or changing your views on religion... But at what point do you sit down in a relationship with a pen and paper and say "alrighty Jane this is going to be a list of all the things we dont do and will never do no matter what. I dont care if we could possibly like said things or enjoy said things, we just don't do it, understand?"

Examples of said issue:

Couple T&S:
J&L: Hey, you guys want to go to this new club downtown? I hear they have killer music, everything from Hip Hop to Dubstep.
T: Ew, yeah we don’t do clubs
S: and we dont do traveling "into the city", too much traffic and weird people that dress different than us
S: oh and we don’t do Dubstep, too much bass { long condescending pause}

Ok, metal note, T&S don’t do clubs or like stuff thats loud

Couple R&G:
J&L: You guys want to go camping this weekend?
R: What? Camping?
G: Yeah, we don’t do camping.

Ok, mental note R&G hate the outdoors, smores, fires and nature

Couple P&E:
J&L: Hey, you guys want to go to a country bar, they have line dancing and bull riding?
P&E: Sorry, we don’t do country
P: Yeah plaid hurts my eyes

Ok, mental note. P&E don’t do country, also need to take back plaid shirt I bought for P's birthday.

Couple C&A:
J&L: Wanna come over and hang out? It’s going to be a low-key night, just hang out and have a few beers
C&A: Sorry we so don’t do low-key we are lounge people

Ok, mental note C&A don’t do low-key, no sitting at the house drinking beers- only sitting at a bar that has couches like a house, drinking martini's, got it.

Couple F&T:
J&L: Hey, you guys want to get out of the house, maybe go hit up a few bars, there is a band playing down the street, they are supposed to be really good.
F&T: Yeah, we don’t go out… like ever.
T: and we definitely don’t do live music

Ok, mental note we will not be hanging out with F&T , like ever.

Couple W&whoever W is with at the time:
L: Wanna go see this new Hip Hop group perform, they are not mainstream, more underground so to speak.
W: I am going to hate it
J: How do you know you’re going to hate it, you haven’t even heard of them
W: We just don’t do hip hop, or like to listen to anything thats not on Kiss 100.7

Ok, mental note, never take W or his girlfriend to a show “on the bad side of town”.

WTF people, how are we supposed to keep track of all of the things you don’t do? (We do actually, sadly enough) So when you see us in between not doing things and say “Hey, why haven’t we hung out in like FOREVER??” It’s because we are busy doing all the things you don’t do.

I am SO not saying Jamie and I are SO incredibly diverse or anything, or that we are totally busy all the time, because we aren’t, like at all. The difference being, is that we leave options open to do cool shit. We are pretty much down for whatever, if the opportunity arises to do anything that does not involve killing people or animals (mostly animals) count us in… All we ask is the same in return, I am posting this because we love you and we want to hang out with you more and because my head hurts from rolling my eyes so much at all of your limitations and judgments.

It could be our fault, Jamie and I are basically walking oxymoron’s when it comes to what we like to do with our free time. One night we are in our PJ’s trying to beat Mario Kart (the original) drinking rum and diets until 2am and the next night we equally enjoy being dressed in our best hitting up a swanky club where we know we are the oldest folks in the place (but don’t care) dancing our faces off. Also, if you called and asked us to come meet you at the local watering shit hole for a game of darts and tall boys on special, we probably wouldn’t answer because we’d already be 3 PBR’s deep and waiting on your slow asses to show up.

So all we I am asking you is to make 2012 the year of yes… Try something new, surprise yourself for fucks sake.



PS: We do have a lot of friends that are down for whatever, this post does not apply to you. We love you and the fact that on Friday we are sitting on a ratty blanket with you in the middle of a field drinking from a flask and eating sandwiches from the gas station, while watching some performance of a singer or whom I can’t remember her name, to, on Saturday we are dressed to impress in a fancy ballroom at the Grand Hyatt drinking champagne and eating fancy $13 dollar tiny hamburgers sliders.

PSS: I am aware that after our “don’t do” friends read this post, they may not be our friends anymore.

PSSS: I take full responsibility for the contents of this post, I just add Jamie in here to make me sound more credible (kinda).

a california tribute

{my San Diego life in pictures}

... because sometimes I just feel like being nostalgic.