It was like one day I was in my bikini, in the bay, in an inter tube made for an 8 year old, with a beer in my hand, worrying about not spilling my beer and worrying about whether or not we were going to die from getting tangled in the ropes and drowning.
Then I woke up one day and I was in my sweats, in the living room, in rubber gloves made for an 80 year old, with a sponge in my hand trying to scrub our radiators in preparation for winter, worrying about if they were coated in lead based paint and worrying about whether or not we were going to die from breathing in heated lead based paint.
When did it become this way?
Where were the tell tell signs that would show me that things were evolving and that I was getting old and “responsible”. Why didn’t my bank call me when they noticed my debit card went from being used for 30 packs of quantity over quality cans to being used for 6 packs of quality over quantity bottles? Where was the call when I stopped buying $200 boots and started buying $200 worth of cleaning supplies and linens or when I stopped buying microwaveable dinners to buying actual ingredients to make things “from scratch”? Don’t banks pride themselves on detecting when something is “out of the ordinary” on your account?? You know, someone in Spain stole my identity once and drained my bank account, they called me then- and I’m not even remotely as upset about my identity being stolen as I am about being a real responsible adult. At least then my identity was worth stealing. I think the guy from Spain keeps calling me from an unknown number, trying to give me my identity back. He doesn’t even want it anymore (he probably got a look at my student loan bill).
Why haven’t my friends called me to say “Hey Rai, you haven’t partied on a Wednesday in a while, what’s up with that? Are you ill?” Oh right, that’s because they are busy buying houses, building sheds and raising small humans.
Seriously, when did it become this way?
I started a real savings account, not a “saving for Mardi Gras” savings account, an actual savings account, one that has no meaning until “an emergency occurs” (btw, needing a Gucci bag because mine is “so last season” is surprisingly not considered an emergency (so says Jamie)).
I started thinking about my future and making decisions that count beyond “what’s for dinner?” (which is a legitimate future decision if you ask me, it’s tough to know what to eat for dinner, I mean, it depends, am I craving something? Am I PMSing? How long has it been since I’ve had wings? Do I feel like fast food? a sit down dinner? a fast sit down dinner?)
Anyways, I guess it became this way the day I decided to settle down and marry the love of my life or the day I realized I cared more about the quality of our thread count than the quality of my rain boots (other things like handbags, jeans and winter coats are a work in progress) I guess it became this way the day I got a puppy and could no longer leave from work and go straight to Happy Hour on Wednesdays. Either way, I am not necessarily saying I am happy about all these "sudden" changes, but I will say that I wouldn’t have had my life become any other way, but this way...
… Unless I were to accidentally win the lottery, like this woman did. Lucky bitch.