Monday, January 3, 2011
Sunday, January 2, 2011
This year in goals...
I take my New Years resolutions very seriously, so this year I figured I would document them for all of you to hold me accountable.
Here are my top five 2011 goals:
1) Learn how to use a ninja star. I mean, how bad ass would it be to show up to a slap fight with ninja stars. It may be a little dramatic but I bet it would be a firm way to guarantee less people would ride my ass on the commute to work with a bumper sticker that says "Guns dont kill people, ninja stars kill people and I have ninja stars that I am not afraid to use, so back up off my tail lights bitches!" I'm not sure if that will fit on a bumper sticker and I usually don't use the term "bitches" but since I'll be so bad ass, I can say what I want.
2) Lose a ton of weight. I'm talking like I want to weigh 28 pounds max. Because at that weight I will be almost invisible and who doesn't want to be invisible.
3) I want to spend every cent I make on those gold collector's coins on TV. I mean, $100 dollars in paper money for a $10 dollar gold coin just seems like a steal and technically I would be investing my money.
4) I want to have all the people who stalk me in the mall and right outside of Target with clipboards moved over to KMart, where people don't shop anymore. I am so sick and tired of hearing them say things like "do you have a minute to help save a dying child?" or "do you have time to save animals from being beaten and slaughtered in your community?" or "do you believe in world peace, you can help save our planet if you stop now" or "do you support gay marriage?" Oh My God people, I am trying to power shop on my lunch break, I dont have time for any of that shit! But thank you for making me feel awful for not taking a moment to save dying children or beaten animals or to help you marry the love of you life. You people have managed to ruin too many of my days and make me feel like a bad person, when all I wanted was to buy a new pair of shoes. Way to take me from 10 to 0 in 15 seconds jerks.
5) I want to not power shop on my lunch break anymore. I think that would guarantee success with all 5 of my top 2011 goals. I could use my lunch time to practice throwing my ninja stars, I would save paper money on shoes to invest in gold money on TV, I wont eat mall food and will lose a ton of weight and become invisible AND I wouldn't have to be made to feel like crap anymore for not taking a moment to save our planet.
BOOM! I'm taking 2011 by the balls.
I got this.
(side note: if it only takes a second to save our planet, then why are those people wasting all those seconds trying to get busy people to sign a piece of paper when if they would all just come together and actively stop the violence or mountain top removal, shit might actually get done).
I googled "2011 New Years images" and this is what I got:
If anything, these kids need some clipboard people.
Here are my top five 2011 goals:
1) Learn how to use a ninja star. I mean, how bad ass would it be to show up to a slap fight with ninja stars. It may be a little dramatic but I bet it would be a firm way to guarantee less people would ride my ass on the commute to work with a bumper sticker that says "Guns dont kill people, ninja stars kill people and I have ninja stars that I am not afraid to use, so back up off my tail lights bitches!" I'm not sure if that will fit on a bumper sticker and I usually don't use the term "bitches" but since I'll be so bad ass, I can say what I want.
2) Lose a ton of weight. I'm talking like I want to weigh 28 pounds max. Because at that weight I will be almost invisible and who doesn't want to be invisible.
3) I want to spend every cent I make on those gold collector's coins on TV. I mean, $100 dollars in paper money for a $10 dollar gold coin just seems like a steal and technically I would be investing my money.
4) I want to have all the people who stalk me in the mall and right outside of Target with clipboards moved over to KMart, where people don't shop anymore. I am so sick and tired of hearing them say things like "do you have a minute to help save a dying child?" or "do you have time to save animals from being beaten and slaughtered in your community?" or "do you believe in world peace, you can help save our planet if you stop now" or "do you support gay marriage?" Oh My God people, I am trying to power shop on my lunch break, I dont have time for any of that shit! But thank you for making me feel awful for not taking a moment to save dying children or beaten animals or to help you marry the love of you life. You people have managed to ruin too many of my days and make me feel like a bad person, when all I wanted was to buy a new pair of shoes. Way to take me from 10 to 0 in 15 seconds jerks.
5) I want to not power shop on my lunch break anymore. I think that would guarantee success with all 5 of my top 2011 goals. I could use my lunch time to practice throwing my ninja stars, I would save paper money on shoes to invest in gold money on TV, I wont eat mall food and will lose a ton of weight and become invisible AND I wouldn't have to be made to feel like crap anymore for not taking a moment to save our planet.
BOOM! I'm taking 2011 by the balls.
I got this.
(side note: if it only takes a second to save our planet, then why are those people wasting all those seconds trying to get busy people to sign a piece of paper when if they would all just come together and actively stop the violence or mountain top removal, shit might actually get done).
I googled "2011 New Years images" and this is what I got:
If anything, these kids need some clipboard people.
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Holy Crapola... We're getting married!
Now I can say I'm a Vlogger.
Our Proposal...
After a long 8 hour drive from the Vigliotta household to the Koay household, we finally had Christmas at my dads, 12/26/2010. I couldn't understand why my family wanted me so badly to change my clothes and put on some makeup to unwrap a few freaking gifts... Something I now regret not doing (never underestimate the power of looking good on camera people).
My dad "got a new flip camera for Christmas"** and wanted to give the gift a whirl, understandable, right? Well, growing up we have video taped about a dozen Christmas's where we never ever actually watched the tapes (or CD's or DVDs, Roms, Hard drives or whatever magic happens in those recordable electronic devices) so I put no thought into getting dazzled for this Christmas video either.
The last gift under the tree was a book created for me by (my now Fiancé) Jamie, it was a story about our relationship from the very beginning, through all the laughter and fun, through some trials and tribulations, up to our present day including the jumanji household we share with Cowbell and Xander Crews (I'm sorry it's hard to follow our story on video through my stutters, nervous laughter and tears) but it was thoughtful, real, heartfelt and raw...
The end of the story was not the end though, the end was actually our beginning...
I had to watch the video 3 times to even understand it. 4 times to appreciate it...
Enjoy :)
Can I get a Hell Yeah!!
** The flip camera was actually not a gift, rather a lie. A lie to make me not question why we were video taping a Christmas when I am almost 30. My dad had us erase all footage on the camera so he could take it back though, a very Koay thing to do :)
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