Things Im into right now...

i am a sucker for architect and cool shit

i am also a big fan of people messing with other people and making them uncomfortable

i am also into facebook but there isnt a link here because i'm not allowed to be on it

Seriously... Amazing.

Sorry Xander but this is so you this Halloween:

Is it wrong if...

... I dig a Reeses Cup out of the trash and eat it?

I contemplated this for a while, until it dawned on me that me staring into my garbage can was crazy looking enough, I didnt need to start digging things out of it to start eating as well.

Although, quickly eating out of the trash would have looked way more sane than I did trying to take pictures of the inside of my garbage can for 10 minutes, sighing heavily when I realized after a dozen tries that the camera on my phone was broken...

So I took it in for Technical Support:
Me: "Hi, I know you guys deal mostly with computers, but can you take a look at my phone, I think its broken"
IT: (noticing that the phone wasn't actually broken broken)"Well, it looks fine to me"
Me: "No no, I mean the camera on it is broken and I need it to work right now"
IT: "Why do you need your camera working at work?"
Me: "Oh, I need to take a picture of the inside of my trash can and its not letting me"
IT: (puzzled and slightly mortified)"ummmm... you can always try restarting it??"

And whadda ya know... It worked!

How to ruin your day in under 6 minutes...

7:03am Woke up to Xander licking the side of my face and sticking his whole nose in my ear...
7:05am Walked downstairs to put Xander out and stepped on one of his balls (his toy tennis ball, just to be clear)...
7:05am Almost fell to my death, but caught myself due to my wicked balancing skills (good thing I went to yoga on Monday)...
7:06am Went to the fridge for water...
7:06am Totally misjudged the location of my mouth and poured ice cold H2O all down my shirt…
7:06am Sat down glass on the counter in shock…
7:06am Totally misjudged my own brute strength and shattered glass all over the counter…
7:07am Tried to clean glass and water off the counter with tissues (it didn't work out and I ran out of tissues, double whammy)...
7:08am Still tried to drink some of the water left in the bottom of the glass...
7:08am Swallowed glass shard…
7:09am I already hate my day.

To the Bitch Who Stole My Shoes...

I hate you, but looky (or is it lookie) at what came in the mail today!! Believe it or not this is the third time these shoes have been purchased in 2 years.The first time I loved them so much I wore the damn things out and had to throw them away:( but then SURPRISE, guess who gets them for their birthday from her AMAZING boyfriend last year (he just knew how much I loved them :)) THEN, THEN while in Pittsburgh at a friends house we were tailgating for a Steelers game and some bitch had the nerve to steal them from me- SOMEONE ACTUALLY STOLE MY DAMN SHOES, who does that?!? It felt like a Sex and the City episode . So...

Third times a charm...
... is what people say when the first two times didn't work out as expected.


Simply beautiful:)

The Worst News Since Jessica and Nick

One of my most favoritest Hollywood couples.

Team Lorraine

Day 13 of no meat and surprisingly I am fine with it- unless I get really hungry. If I let myself get to the point where I am in starvation mode (FYI: starvation mode to me is about 2 hours after the last time I’ve eaten—I know, I would never last in a third world country) Anyways, when I am STARVING I am tempted to eat straight out of the butcher’s section at Von’s. As a matter of fact, I finally had my first dream about meat 2 nights ago (trust me, sounds weird, but if dreaming is the only way I can have meat this month… I’ll take whatever I can get) So anyways, I’m having this dream, where you know you are at your house but really it’s like something drawn out of a Tim Burton film (well that’s how it is in my dreams anyways) So I am hiding in the corner of my Burton style room eating raw ground beef with my hands, just shoveling it in my mouth… Then I look down and its no longer ground beef, it’s that pink looking ice cream crap that’s mechanically processed chicken (see pic from last post). That’s when I woke up sick to my stomach. Surprisingly I was ok eating the raw ground beef, but the raw poop chicken just threw me over the edge. I will probably never eat another chicken nugget again. But I am looking very forward to my next burger.

Enough about meat, let’s talk Facebook… 12 days and no Facebook, except one account where I uploaded a picture directly from my phone (no login required because my phone is automatically linked up to basically everything, it’s probably linked up to all your stuff too, it’s THAT involved) Anyways, so I took a picture and then I pushed the upload pic button (thats on my camera home screen) and it went to Facebook (I know, its like magic). Never did I see the post or a login screen or that pretty blue framed webpage, I just wanted to show off the awesome harvest moon flowers Jamie sent to me at work. Well, my sister says this is cheating. So I have to confess that I may have cheated on the no Facebook for 31 days thing. Although, I’ll let you be the judge since the whole reason I am “cleansing” from Facebook is because I do not want to know what’s going on in everyone’s life at every given moment (Ok, I DO want to know, that’s the whole reason for the cleanse, but point is, I haven’t looked at a single status update or photo album for 12 days now ). Hell, I have probably missed hundreds (possibly thousands) of party’s simply because I have no idea what “events” are even taking place. So, to me, I have not cheated (yet) If you agree with me, there are “Team Lorraine” tee-shirts for sale(they come in size newborn to 3T (because I do not know anyone over the age of 3 that would actually wear a tee shirt with my name on it by choice)… If you agree with my sister, well, you don’t get anything.

Love Dad.... Text version.

This is all over TEXT people: (BTW: This is Version II of the last love u... Dad post- if you have not read it, read it first)

Me to Dad: "How come you no answer email?? (I said that in my best Asian accent so you could understand it)"

**I sent him an email about my visit home in November, after a few weeks, I still heard nothing in return

Dad to Me: "No no time"

(ouch, he must really not have any time)

Me to Dad: "You dont have time to check my emails!! Are you running WVU now? Well anyways, I bought a flight home for Nov 11th. Jamie and I. Fyi"

Dad to Me (never forget to add in your best Asian accent when reading his replies): "Lorraine,
Glad u and Jamie are coming for Homecoming (*we are not btw, Homecoming is in Oct) I told mom and she is looking forward to see both u. I am sorry for not replying ur email. I was busy and then forgotten about you. Senior moments. looking forward to seeing both of u. I will see about Steeler game tickets. Will talk to you about Christmas when u here.
Love u....... Dad. U supposed to call mom??"


That's verbatim. And if you ask me, thats a lot like an email.



Completely unrelated but this is what chicken nuggets look like right before they are chicken nuggets: Eat up, this is no PinkBerry!

The reason I keep my Boyfriend

Email I received with an attached illustration from Jamie after I asked him to please take the car and fill it up with gas:

"I'll explain the illustration. I was waiting to turn into the Valero (legally) in the middle turning lane. Crazy guy in suped up mustang black and yellow GT car comes screeching right in front of me, veers out into wrong way lanes then screeches tires speeding back down the turning lane to go back in the right lanes.

Crazy.

And gas was like 3.25! I only put in two gallons, I'll do the rest elsewhere, that shit is ridiculous."



Yeah baby, that shit IS ridiculous... Now I am already almost out of gas, jerk.

Hand in Hand

Gods Sign

Jamie decided to cook us dinner last night, day 6 of no meat… As I waited for our meatless delight our book shelf (which I must point out Jamie hung) decided to unhinge itself from the wall and come crashing down on my head. First the shelf itsself hit me, then book 1, then book 2, then book 3, then book 4, then the picture frame and lastly the candle holder (which come to find out weighs about 45 lbs). You would be surprised at the lack of reaction time you have to dodge out of harms way when you are being pelted by countless books (four) and picture frames (one). Jamie thinks that this incident means that I shouldn’t have so many heavy things on the shelf. Personally, I think its Gods way of telling me to eat some damn meat already... Just makes way more sense.


This is EXACTLY what it looked like: (except imagine me underneath being pelted with these books and also imagine a candle holder and a picture frame, oh, and also imagine the shelf being above a couch in my living room)














Day 6:

Breakfast- McDonalds Cheese and Biscuit Biscuit
Lunch- Really spicy Veggie Curry with rice and 2 cookies
Dinner- Cheese Mashed Potatoes, Corn and Veggie Burgers, extra lettuce (gotta get my greens in!)
Snack- Veggie Corn Dog

Day 7:
Breakfast- Fake Sausage Pattie w/ cheese and toasted wheat muffin
Lunch- Rubios Cheese Enchiladas with Beans and more Beans

Xander Crews and his Xtacle Cowbell

Introducing to you our newest addition: Awesome X aka Xander Crews aka Barnaby Jones aka Xanderby. (he has many aliases)

Also introducing to you, the infamous Cowbell. I don’t care what anyone says, having these two around is like having twin new born babies… I dont sleep anymore, I haven't had a hot meal in months and I stopped showering altogether (the latter may have just been a person choice). I may change my tone when I actually have babies, but right now I stand my ground when I say these little bastards are a handful.

(But SO totally worth it)

She got wet, so naturally I had to dryer:










This is the look she gave me as I was trying to rescue her from an electrifying death: (Cowbell leads a dangerous life)










Locking Xander in the bathroom was not our brightest idea.












Our little Steelers fan!! Poor Raffie, his mane doesnt stand a chance.











His seat in the car. Also note Jamie is in this picture, I would tag him but this isnt Facebook, he also is included in this post as part of the statement "these little bastards are a handful" ;-)

How Lois Griffin Says Peter on Family Guy.

So it is day 4.9 of my new found vegetarianism. The irony is, I have yet to eat any vegetables… I have had cheese bread, fried cheese, cheese balls, a bowl of cheese and cheese dipped in more cheese. I never thought there would be the day where I was actually sick of cheese. But today is that day.

Also, being a vegetarian is expensive, holy shit it’s expensive. Is it really difficult to press soy into shapes of what real meat looks like? It must be, because my fillets were cheaper than this crap! I will say this though, Morning Star Sausage Patties is where it’s at. I started eating them years ago and I will never go back to real sausage. Fake sausage is the new real sausage.

So, I joined the PETA’s website, mainly so that I could get a good grasp on where they are coming from in terms of “saving the animals” and to get cool new veggie recipes… Well, lesson learned: DO NOT SIGN UP unless you are really prepared to know wtf is going on in our animal killing industry. I woke up to check the time around 4am this morning and had an email notification “ARMY PLANS TO CUT UP AND KILL ANIMALS” How can I NOT read on... So as my little Xander is laying next to me I start to think about the army cutting him up to pieces for training purposes and now Im just pissed and can't sleep... Naturally at this point I may as well read on and, I won’t go into detail but I am about to adopt a shit ton (literally) of elephants. Sorry Jamie, it’s just the right thing to do.

Anyways now to the shit I ate today:

10/2- Day 3
Breakfast- Cheese Pizza
Lunch- Indian Curry with Tofu and Naan
Dinner- 2 Pizza Burgers, toasted wheat muffin with cheese, fake tomato and basil “patties” and pizza sauce. Super yummy btw!

10/3- Day 4
Breakfast- Fake Sausage Pattie w/ cheese and toasted wheat muffin
Lunch- Cheese Quesadilla w/ sour cream and guac.
Dinner- Persian Cucumbers, Caprese Salad w/ Fresh Mozzarella, Avocado and Tomatoes. Tomato Basil Bisque with French Baguettes stuffed with low fat Mozzarella! (best meal yet, hands down!)

10/4- Day 5
Breakfast- Fake Sausage Pattie w/ cheese and toasted wheat muffin :)

A burger hold the burger please!

For my amusement (obviously not for yours) I am going to keep a record of my daily meatless intake:

9/31- Day 1 (but not really supposed to be Day 1):

Breakfast- 1 bite of a Turkey Sandwich… (took turkey off and just ate the bread)
Lunch- Spicy Avocado and Cheddar Sandwich
Dinner- Cheese and Mushroom Pizza (who said vegetarians had to be healthy!)
Dinner (2)- Spicy Avocado and Cheddar Sandwich

10/1- Day2 (the real Day 1):

Breakfast- Ikea scrambled eggs with potatoes, I gave away the scrumptious looking sausage :( (I am still up in the air about eggs; to eat eggs or not to eat eggs? That is the question)
Lunch- Subway veggie delight (or whatever you call it, I call it bread with lettuce).
Dinner- Cheese Pizza (this is starting to get boring and as my cousin would say "carb overload"!) So I am going to grocery shopping tomorrow to get some heathy stuff to consume.

**UPDATE 10/12/2010--- This eating diary thing did not last long.

Here is your brain on drugs (and possibly your brain on eggs):

Free Range

So I decided to take the long journey of becoming meat free during the month of October. This should be interesting considering how much I love my meat… I mean, it’s a past time (my father used to hang raw deer in the garage to make deer jerky for goodness sakes! and I was into it), a present time and I thought it was going to be a future time as well. And it very well may be, but for the whole month of October I am going to be meat free, Facebook free and partially alcohol free (I mean, its football season, let’s be realistic).

I had to start blogging again because I have no idea what to do with all the free time I am going to have without the 300+ status updates per hour I get on Facebook or the 10+ minutes a day I spend “liking” someone’s comment or photo album OR you would be surprised how much time I spend eating meat.

Plus finally I’ll give my poor boyfriend a rest on my Facebook envy, that’s what I call it at least… It’s when you want to do/ have everything everyone else is doing/having. It could be anything from a vacation in Ibiza to eating Pho for lunch, if someone is updating about it, I want it. Hell, every time someone updates they are having margarita’s, I HAVE TO HAVE a margarita!! And I’m allergic to them…. That’s prime example of Facebook Envy. And like you, Ive never wanted to admit it.

So I was trying to figure out how I was going to get the push I needed to not sneak beef jerky under my desk at work and I finally found the solution: Meet Your Meat
Watch it and weep people… Or at least that’s what I did, mid turkey sandwich in my mouth. (and no, I didn’t finish it- as a matter of fact, I started being vegetarian a whole 24 hours earlier than expected.)

This is going to be a long 31 days…