“Yes Sir, you have to take your shoes off too”

Some people don’t like going through security, I mean, think about how ridiculous the process is. Don’t get me wrong, I totally understand why we have to go through this ordeal; you can’t trust a grown adult with a pen cap and a hula hoop these days. But it’s like waiting to go through security at a state-of-the-art penitentiary, not that I have ever been processed to serve life, but I’ve seen Shawshank Redemption a few times and it seems eerily familiar to my airport experiences. Except when I get off this flight there will be no box of money under that out of place lava rock that will lead me to a boat in Paradise (I am assuming).

Some people don’t like going through security. Well, I loathe it, I absolutely loathe it... It’s like people lose all sense of their surroundings and become lost and utterly confused as to what they are doing or how they got there. The man in front of me was told 4 times to take his shoes off and remove his belt, then each time he went through the metal detector he was oddly nonchalant as he emptied his pockets time after time; first of an old nail, second a pocket knife, and third, what I thought to be..... scrap metal?!? At this point, I am assuming he can not possibly be serious, until he got extremely upset when they tried to take his swiss army knife away. So turns out, he was just a complete idiot... I guess now he will have to find another tool to help remove tiny pieces off of random metal objects.

Now that I am finally out of security I hit up the book slash candy slash knickknack slash rape my wallet store. After 1 pack of gum, a trashy magazine, and combos I am already 16 bucks in the hole... Awesome, I can’t wait to go people watch and wait until they call my zone. Damn I am sweaty.

It’s a red eye, so almost everyone is sleeping... Other than me, my body rejects any form of comfort and ease. I am sitting here unbelievably uncomfortable. I tried sleeping once and all I did was count how many times I had the thought “OMG, I am so unbelievably uncomfortable”. Then as I yawned the person in front of me sneezed. Perfect timing buddy! I’m sure I have some sort of body decaying infection now, way to spread the love...

Oh good, there are babies on the plane. That should make for an awesome 5 hour trip.